On our first Saturday night, fellow Boston-area-native Jeff met a beautiful girl named Olivia who was based out of Antigua. After a night of partying and dancing, she asked him to come to a party in Antigua the following Monday on his day off, about a 2.5 hour trip from the hostel. Jeff obliged, "By the laws of YOLO...!" (You Only Live Once, for those who don´t know).
And so it was set. The following Monday, Jeff set out for Antigua, planning to return the following day in time to work his shift, 6pm-close.
Tuesday morning came and went, and before I knew it, 5:30 had come around - my afternoon shift was almost finished. No sign of Jeff. Ten more minutes pass, and I'm occupied helping guests.
Suddenly, Jeff appears wildly at my flank, pushes behind the bar, grabs a 10Q bill out of the till, turns and runs back out again, shouting "I'll pay that back in ONE MINUTE."
A few minutes later, Jeff returns, a bit out of breath, and clearly bursting at the seams with a story. Elaine and I settled in as he began to explain. Here's how it went down:
Monday morning, Jeff set out with 250 quetzales in his pocket, or a little over $30. He took a lanza to Panajachel, and then decided to take a shuttle to Antigua rather than the cheaper, colorful, somewhat dodgy chicken buses that are famous in Guatemala. This decision immediately shaved 100Q off of Jeff's in-pocket budget.
Two and a half hours later, Jeff arrived in Antigua, and set out to find the party. Roughly an hour and a half later, he tells, he found the building and met up with Olivia and the others who had come and stayed at the Iguana. Normal pregaming ensues, and Jeff is able to drink his share without paying for drinks at a bar. The party then moves to a venue of some sort, where to his misfortune Olivia ends up with some other guy, and he ends up with her friend. But through it he is able to be somewhat conservative in his spending, and comes out of it with about 60Q left for his return trip in the morning. 60Q - not enough for a shuttle, but enough for the right chicken bus.
Jeff takes to the streets, shaking off his weird night, already a decent story under his belt. At this point he finds and boards a chicken bus toward Santa Cruz and San Pablo. Half an hour from Xela (SHAY-la), Jeff determines that he is Not on the right chicken bus. At this point he figures out that Santa Cruz and Santa Cruz La Laguna are Not the same thing. Cool.
Jeff is down to 13Q at this point. He arrives in Xela, and begins running around with growing urgency in search of someone who speaks English. He finally finds someone, and they help him broker a deal with another Chicken Bus driver, saying that he'll pay 13Q today, and then come back tomorrow to pay the rest. In the end, the driver shrugs and agrees to it. Hope is rekindled for Jeff.
An hour of a bumpy ride later, there is a blaring horn followed by a sickening crash. Yes. The Chicken Bus had crashed head-on into a passenger vehicle...or rather, the passenger vehicle had crossed lanes and crashed in the Chicken Bus. Luckily, Jeff was okay except for a bruised shoulder, though I'm afraid it did not look good for the driver of the passenger vehicle.
Jeff now has no phone, no money, and no number to call even if he can borrow a phone. We applauded him on his planning of this part. But back to the story.
Jeff is left standing on the side of the road wondering what to do, when another car pulls up and rolls down the window and asks him if he's thirsty. A moment of Really?, followed by "...yeSS!" Then he gets to talking with the couple, gets a picture with them, and they offer to drive him to Panajachel. Jackpot.
The rest of the trip is easy, almost. All that´s left is the ride to Pana, and then boarding a public boat with no money in his pocket (the cost of which is 10Q). And you can put the rest of the story together on your own.
And thus ends the first tale of the "By the laws of YOLO!" saga.
And so it was set. The following Monday, Jeff set out for Antigua, planning to return the following day in time to work his shift, 6pm-close.
Tuesday morning came and went, and before I knew it, 5:30 had come around - my afternoon shift was almost finished. No sign of Jeff. Ten more minutes pass, and I'm occupied helping guests.
Suddenly, Jeff appears wildly at my flank, pushes behind the bar, grabs a 10Q bill out of the till, turns and runs back out again, shouting "I'll pay that back in ONE MINUTE."
A few minutes later, Jeff returns, a bit out of breath, and clearly bursting at the seams with a story. Elaine and I settled in as he began to explain. Here's how it went down:
Monday morning, Jeff set out with 250 quetzales in his pocket, or a little over $30. He took a lanza to Panajachel, and then decided to take a shuttle to Antigua rather than the cheaper, colorful, somewhat dodgy chicken buses that are famous in Guatemala. This decision immediately shaved 100Q off of Jeff's in-pocket budget.
Two and a half hours later, Jeff arrived in Antigua, and set out to find the party. Roughly an hour and a half later, he tells, he found the building and met up with Olivia and the others who had come and stayed at the Iguana. Normal pregaming ensues, and Jeff is able to drink his share without paying for drinks at a bar. The party then moves to a venue of some sort, where to his misfortune Olivia ends up with some other guy, and he ends up with her friend. But through it he is able to be somewhat conservative in his spending, and comes out of it with about 60Q left for his return trip in the morning. 60Q - not enough for a shuttle, but enough for the right chicken bus.
Jeff takes to the streets, shaking off his weird night, already a decent story under his belt. At this point he finds and boards a chicken bus toward Santa Cruz and San Pablo. Half an hour from Xela (SHAY-la), Jeff determines that he is Not on the right chicken bus. At this point he figures out that Santa Cruz and Santa Cruz La Laguna are Not the same thing. Cool.
Jeff is down to 13Q at this point. He arrives in Xela, and begins running around with growing urgency in search of someone who speaks English. He finally finds someone, and they help him broker a deal with another Chicken Bus driver, saying that he'll pay 13Q today, and then come back tomorrow to pay the rest. In the end, the driver shrugs and agrees to it. Hope is rekindled for Jeff.
An hour of a bumpy ride later, there is a blaring horn followed by a sickening crash. Yes. The Chicken Bus had crashed head-on into a passenger vehicle...or rather, the passenger vehicle had crossed lanes and crashed in the Chicken Bus. Luckily, Jeff was okay except for a bruised shoulder, though I'm afraid it did not look good for the driver of the passenger vehicle.
Jeff now has no phone, no money, and no number to call even if he can borrow a phone. We applauded him on his planning of this part. But back to the story.
Jeff is left standing on the side of the road wondering what to do, when another car pulls up and rolls down the window and asks him if he's thirsty. A moment of Really?, followed by "...yeSS!" Then he gets to talking with the couple, gets a picture with them, and they offer to drive him to Panajachel. Jackpot.
The rest of the trip is easy, almost. All that´s left is the ride to Pana, and then boarding a public boat with no money in his pocket (the cost of which is 10Q). And you can put the rest of the story together on your own.
And thus ends the first tale of the "By the laws of YOLO!" saga.
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